Employment?

So a big deal with me currently is employment. Maybe i just dream to big, or think i need to... I am not sure which. Maybe a driving factor for me is that i want to be able to show off when i say where i work. though i am not as certain about that being the sole motivator for me.

it comes down to this though, are we supposed to be happy where we work, truly happy? or is work a means to and end - a way to pay for food and housing and the time off to be happy, to support a hobbies that would not ultimately provide for you?

i cant say that i am truly happy at my job, though it ranges from feeling under paid, under appreciated, over worked and oddly at times under worked to a completely hopeless feeling that i am making no impact at all on the world and those around me. - or at least that impact i am making is so far negligible as to not really matter.

Now is this supposed to be a message that i should look deeper at the opportunity that has been placed before me by God? that this was the door he opened for me when all others were closed? and that in this it was to say go here, learn here, grow here? and if so how do i know when that time is over and it is time to move on? Do i leave here before another opportunity presents itself, trusting God to provide for me until then, and to open another door or window for me? or should i stay in this place until it clear where he wants me to go?

I can say i know places i want to go. i want to work internationally either for the government or some think tank type group, with public policy issues working around extremest groups and their impact. I would like to work for the US embassy system or something similar.

eventually i would love to get a PhD and teach. but i don't think i have quite enough to say to be a good teacher just yet. and i most certainly do not have enough yet to write to, as they say, publish or perish.

thought those bigger dreams could just as easily be replaced should something i enjoy more come along. as a child the dream was space, and i am quite certain that if my current possession some how become attached to working in any remotely related Field to space and space exploration i would not be as sure i would want to leave, but then my position would be so much more exciting and fulfilling on a personal level that many of my questions would be answered.

and that ramble still leaves me wondering, should your job leave you completely satisfied, or would it simply something most people suffer through as a daily grind at your very soul while the very lucky few find any satisfaction in their work and their ability to truly love what they do each and every day. - Am i looking for to much from a job if i want it to make me happy at least half the time?

to begin

So, new year, new life, new blog?
Ok so its mid year almost and its not so new of a job. but the blog is new. I've been reading the blogs of some old school companions. chronicles of their lives and personal struggles and i have to wonder how cathartic it is to put it all out there. without worry, or maybe just a little bit of regret. is it creepy that people you may or may not know well are readying your life story as it happens, or do you gain strength from their prayers and accountabilty in your faults as you put them out for the world to read? So this can be my own personal experiament, wheather i send out this link or not, a place to write down my thoughts, seek to define what i am worried about and maybe just let it all go.....